Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
