Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
