I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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