college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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