I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
