bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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