K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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