I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Quick, to the slutcave!
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I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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