Don't you send me to vm
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
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