U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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