there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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