If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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