apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
