only if we run a train.
done.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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