who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize