I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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