failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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