So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
