I puked a lego.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
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Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
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He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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