I need help removing her.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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