It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
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was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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