he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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