My friends, they love my intelligence
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
