You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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