Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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