worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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