Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
