That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize