I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
