Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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