RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
