no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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