Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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