There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
