Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
