Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
