I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
