Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
