How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize