the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
