Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
