it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize