i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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