also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
