I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
