It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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