When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
