remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
