oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
