And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
