this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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