you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
