I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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