oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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