Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
