from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
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My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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