I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
